21 8. If you’ve done something wrong, don’t lie about it. Admit what you’ve done and accept the consequences. Your parents will prob- ably be more understanding if you tell the truth. 9. When you and your parents disagree, first try to understand why they feel the way they do. Then, if you believe that what you want is truly reasonable, try to work things out by compromising. The following example will give you an idea of how this can work. Hint: When you’re talking to your parents, try using “I statements.” For example, rather than, “You don’t trust me,” say “I feel like you don’t trust me.” 10. Communicate. If there’s something that you want or need, or if you have a problem, tell your parents. They aren’t mind readers. You have to help them understand what you need from them. Alyssa wanted to go to the mall with friends from 4:00 to 8:00, but her parents said no. They said the mall isn’t safe, and that there isn’t anything she needs to buy. Rather than get angry, Alyssa said, “Mom and Dad, I know you worry about me, but we just look at the clothes and walk around. We never talk to people we don’t know, and we always stay to- gether. I promise to call you every hour to check in, and if you’re worried about me being there til 8:00, I’ll come home at 7:00.” If Alyssa’s parents say ok, then Alyssa will need to do exactly what she said she’d do. She’ll need to call every hour, and be home at 8:00. If her parents still say no, Alyssa needs to accept their decision, without getting upset. If Alyssa is able to do this, her parents will be impressed with how mature she is being, and they may be more likely to say yes the next time.